I've been trying to take the time to notice more things lately. Using another Format reference, "snails see the benefits...the beauty in every inch..." The whole experience with almost hitting a couple animals the other day and then hiking with Vic, etc. has been helping me to slow down my pace. Even in the office earlier in the week when it was just Alissa and I left, I was moving slower than usual but it felt really good to not rush everything. Dale actually got mad at me even earlier in the week for going too fast. He wasn't really mad I guess but it made me angry. He said I was going too fast and that I was probably making a bunch of mistakes. I know he doesn't really know me yet so he doesn't know how much of a perfectionist and fast-paced worker I am, so I asked if he wanted to double check everything before I was done. He said yes, in fact he would, and it made me go twice as slow. He never found a single mistake, and didn't make any more comments good or bad and it just frustrated me for the rest of the day.
Kendall and I went for our walk downtown yesterday and on the way home, we looked around our street a lot more than normal and commented on all the different things we saw that we normally just drive right by. The bright colors really caught our eye, especially the purple birds and flowers in the sea of green and blue. I remember a project Meredith did for school last semester where she had to rename the box of Crayola crayons for a specific state, and I don't think there are nearly enough shades to begin naming the colors just in the Estes area.
As I was driving downtown today, I noticed the bumper sticker on the very bottom corner of the car in front of me that said "The earth doesn't belong to people, people belong to the earth." Looking closer, I saw that the license plate (although it looked like the regular Colorado plate) was a Native American-specific plate which made sense with the quote. It made me start thinking about working last summer and learning about the different SW Native American cultures and traditions and the differences in view regarding ownership of the earth along with what I learned in the Native American ecology class last semester. I remember the Hopi views of Father Sky and Mother Earth. I find it hard to think that the sky and earth are two separate entities. Maybe that is there kind of trilogy so-to-speak, and that the two figures just embody the way that they work together in harmony. Perhaps that's also why one is a male figure and the other is female?
I really liked that quote from the bumper sticker though--the idea that earth really isn't anyone's property. It's like when I went to the table tonight and Kendall moved her feet off the chair for me to sit down. Later, we were goofing around and she made a comment like "fine, I'll move since you were here first" even though she was. The earth was here first though in the case of the bumper sticker quote. The idea that someone just was riding around in the west and came upon this fantastic area of the country just blows my mind. How amazing would it be to be the first person to see the untouched land? Wow. Then there are the signs you see about Private Property, yadda yadda. It makes me question the validity of that statement. I guess the buildings and material objects are private, but the signs that forbid trespassing and warn you to keep off the land seem completely contradictory with what should be allowed. How can anyone have the right to post a sign like that when the land doesn't truly belong to them?
In terms of paying attention and slowing down to notice my surroundings, Barry had some rocks made in the time between last summer and this one that line the path between the Visitor Center and our office. There are about ten that are sporadically placed along the walk with notable quotes carved into the faces. I have used one of them before in an entry, and I might have already mentioned the one about 3/4 of the way down the path that reminds the visitors to have their license plate number before they get to our office. One of the very last ones is a Huron saying that says, "Listen to the voice of nature for it holds treasures for you."
Last week I reread one of my favorite books, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and there are parts where the main character says he feels infinite. Being here in Colorado, I can completely relate to that. In the past two weeks I have been here (it seems like a LOT longer already and not in a bad way!) I feel I have changed a lot. I'm not sure exactly what the changes have been, but I know one big one is that I realize how I am fully capable of not needing anyone around and that I can live on my own in a completely new situation and turn out just fine. The other huge change has been in the strengthening of my faith just being in a place as magnificent as this. Last week when Kendall and I climbed to the top of Eagle Cliff Mountain, I stood at the top and looked around in a full circle and though the exact words from the book, "I feel infinite." There really is no other way to describe everything here.
It's the things like standing on top of a mountain and seeing endless beauty no matter which way you look or at the foot of a waterfall and feeling the mist dance off your face when the breeze picks up or even on our deck watching the sky change and the colors of the sunset take over the blues as the sun illuminates
the clouds that show me there's no reason to doubt any greater being that would make all this possible. Listening to a song in the car on the way to Boulder yesterday, I heard a line about there being no such thing as "God's graffiti" for people, but I really think I've found it. His signature seems to be on everything here and I think that's a big part of feeling so infinite.
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