What I Learned...

I learned that I can completely pick up and move somewhere and be successful.

I learned that it's ok to hike by myself--I actually kind of enjoy it.

I learned that I still prefer to hike with other people, especially our Y boys.

I learned that when you lock someone in the bathroom, be fully prepared to have toilet paper taped to the back of your pants while you are helping someone else out.

I learned that badgers, bats, and people can all cohabit the same house, but that option is never actually preferred.

I learned that it's ok to slow down.

I learned that I don't have to stress myself out about music--it's better to enjoy and love it rather than force it.

I learned that if you wait too long for things to happen, you run out of time.

I learned that it is possible to make potentially-life-long friends in new situations.

I learned that there are some people who feel like you've known them your life from the moment you meet.

I learned that there is life beyond the Internet and cell phones.

I learned the best place to get Cinnamon Rolls is Glen Haven, CO.

I learned who the people I will most likely be keeping in touch with after college are.

I learned that people need to camp safely away from standing dead trees and that bear canisters are required across the park.

I learned it's not always easy to work with different personality types, but it's not hard to be accepting--it might not be the way you would do something or act, but it's ok if someone else does.

I learned to push myself through tough situations.

I learned I can hike over 200 miles in a summer.

I learned that in a nature v. Megan match, nature will usually win.

I learned that hiking with Sasquatches will end up with me on the ground at some point during the hike, often with a sprained knee.

I learned to be patient, especially when climbing mountains.

I learned that life goes on without me in the places I leave so I need to use that and make a conscious decision about life after college and my future location.

I learned that I need to keep a calendar so I don't miss events like my mom's birthday or father's day.

I learned that llamas are smarter than people give them credit for.

I learned that Roxanne enjoys driving at 12,000+ feet.

I learned that I LOVE bluegrass music.

I learned that I enjoy dancing when the guys know what they are doing.

I learned that people respect others in uniform, but also assume they know everything about anything.

I learned that distance relationships aren't even worth trying if both people aren't completely committed.

I learned that it is possible for me to not stress out during the day if my bed isn't made in the morning.

I learned that I enjoy exercising in the morning.

I learned that I would have loved a big sister and/or brother, but "pseudos" work too.

I learned that the staff at Casa Bonita don't appreciate our staff playing Hide-and-Seek in their restaurant.

I learned that the proper word for the people who question when deer turn into elk and then moose is "touron."

I learned that it's fun to be a touron too every once in a while.

I learned that there really are no UFOs in Estes Park, CO, despite what Scott told Dispatch.

I learned that the longer you are away from people and places, the easier it is to forget about them, but then the more you realize you missed them once they are back in your life again.

Yellow Post-It Notes

Earlier this summer, Alissa, Aubrey, Hannah, and I reorganized the bathroom. This sounds strange, but take a look at the pictures and imagine the chaos that was there before we started:
Barry had quotes on the wall all over, written on yellow post-it notes. To clean those up, I typed them all up and then we cut the words of wisdom into strips to put in between the pictures. We loved being able to read all of them and kept a copy each so that we could think back to those words whenever we need to, so here are some of my favorites...

• Always leave early enough to drive in the slow lane –BS 2000
• Throw your hands in the air. What do you have to lose?
• The one who dies with the most fun points wins
• “…I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” –Philippians 4:11b-13
• Friends don’t let friends lead ordinary lives.
• The sun will shine again. –KU 2007
• Some make the world go round, others watch it turn. –Jimmy Buffett
• Please excuse my tree-colored business suit.
• Because you were extravagantly forgiven, you may extravagantly forgive. –Mike Dascoli 2004
• A gift left on the porch is garbage. –Neil Coen 2004
• People that are nice don’t take long to make friends with. –Landon Sweet 1997
• God can do financial insecurity if you let her. –Annie Larson 2009
• When something evolves, everything around that thing evolves. –The Alchemist
• “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” –MLK Jr.
• The purest suffering products the purist understanding
• Inquire don’t accuse
• I am on my path.
• Much of success in life comes in the creating of a convincing argument
• I do not know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. –Bill Cosby
• “Friendship is certainly the finest balm.” –Jane Austen
• We the unwilling led by the unknowing are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little, we are qualified to do everything with nothing.
  
• I believe in life before death.
• Don’t be afraid of death. Be instead afraid of the unlived life.
• Let someone off the hook today. –Barry Sweet 1997
• “Do not ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and then go out and do that because what the world needs is people who come alive.” –Anonymous
• Whether I will run far or long remains to be seen. I just want to run well. –AS 2004
• Life is saturated with examples and stories of great men and women of history who had someone who believed in them even when they didn’t fully believe in themselves. –Michael Angier
• Oil is the problem.
• Nobody’s life is pretty and neat and if they say it is, they’re lying. –Ian Schwartz 2007
• Last night my house burned down. Now my view of the mountains is better. –Peter Allen 2008
• Many men go fishing without knowing that it is not fish they are after. –Thoreau
• Heat and pressure make diamonds.
• Reasonable minds can differ.
• I free myself not necessarily by struggling to be free but by simply noticing how I imprison myself at the time that I imprison myself
• It can’t rain forever. Some day the sun has got to come out again.
• How can I fix this problem with creativity, style, and flair??
• No one can ever take your education away. –Jeff Daniels 2007
• Two ways to do it: Make more or want less.
• The best quote I’ve ever heard is: true champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain.
• I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
• Be mindful of your contributions to the community pool…
  Conscious and unconscious
  Aware and unaware
  Paused and automatic
  Non-toxic and toxic
  Clear communication and unclear communication…
• If you can attain your goal in this lifetime it is not a worthy goal
• Providence has a thousand keys
  To open a thousand sundry doors
  For the deliverance of his own
  When it is even come
  To a desperate case.
  --Mrs. C. E. Cowman
• The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater. –J. R. Tolkien
• Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength. –Hoffer
• It’s a great leap forward in life when one learns not to strive for perfection –DK 2004
• Be intentional with your PDC’s (Positive Daily Contributions)
• Wherever you go, find the people who love to laugh and hang out with them –BS 1998
• It is my belief
  That each of us
  Has the power
  and responsibility
  To make a contribution
  To help our world
  Become a better place
  For all to live. –BS 1996
• The next time someone tells you a story or shares an accomplishment with you, notice your tendency to say something about yourself in response.
• “Wesa ina pitty bad goo” –Jar Jar Binks
• “Dats muy bigo oucho” –Jar Jar Binks
• “Maybe wesa bein friends” –Boss Nass
• I had dreams for my life; My life had dreams for me –Laine Johnson 2008
• Need is finite, want is infinite
• The best things in life are not things
• The best kids always keep sight of the boundary of the sandbox. –Brian Gilbert 2004
• Every Problem has 100 Solutions
• We are each responsible for making a conscious, intentional, positive, daily, contribution to the Community Pool
  
• “I still don’t know why I fish or why other men fish, except that we like it and it makes us think and feel.” –Rodeerick Saig Brown
  
• Notice: Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages. Bitter cold. Long months of complete darkness. Constant danger. Safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success. –Ernest Shackleton
  
• “I am not a teacher, but an awakener” –Robert Frost
  
• The aim of education must be the training of independently acting and thinking individuals who see in the service to the community their highest life achievement. –Albert Einstein
  
• In every life, no matter how full or empty one’s purse, there is tragedy…
  It is the one promise life always fulfills…
  Thus, Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes and to add to people’s store of it
• “Learn to walk in any environment in bare feet. Once learned, shift the same walk to modern footwear. Walk so each step blesses the earth.” –Tom Brown
  
• Isn’t it wonderful that no one has to wait one moment to start to change the world? –Anne Frank
  

Home Is Where The Heart Is

It's official.

I'm back in Flagstaff, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Kendall and I caravaned home yesterday for the fourteen hour (exactly) drive, complete with walkie-talkies so we could converse in the car on the way. We left at 6am and stopped shortly in Lyons to get gas, coffee, and gas-station-breakfast. Past Boulder we got a little turned around and had a two mile detour, but made it to I25, followed by I70 to head towards Grand Junction: our next gas stop.

We stopped briefly at the No Name Rest Stop, my favorite rest stop I've ever been to. When I was pulling onto the exit ramp, I noticed a car with lights on the roof behind me. I radioed to 829 (we used our birthdays as our numbers, so I was 710) to ask if it was a cop or not. 829 told me the vehicle was a Wildlife Conservation car, but that it had swerved across a few lanes when we pulled off to get behind us. When I stopped and got out of the car, it was a man in a uniform with a cop badge. He told me that we couldn't be racing through the valley (we were going around 70 in a 50) and needed to slow down. That was a good scare for us and although we didn't get a ticket, we were much more careful after that because we figured he had ran our plates and called ahead for other cops to look out for us.

We managed to make it to Grand Junction before Obama and crew showed up, but both Roxanne and Lola's (Kendall's car) gas lights came on so we were relieved when we finally found a gas station. We tanked up and headed towards Moab, UT for lunch at Eddie McStiff's. At lunch, I was able to load a book on CD onto my Ipod for the last half of the drive. We stopped at a micro-brewery so I could pick up some Scorpion Tail Ale for Dad, got gas, and then hit the road towards Arizona.

With another stop in Kayenta for gas, we finally got within the last hour of Flagstaff. At this point, we were both getting antsy. After Moab, our walkies were running out of battery power so we decided to turn them on only on the hour and half hour. For that last hour, we resorted back to talking the whole time. It was weird still being in desert and seeing the mountains up ahead of us. I wanted to know where the trees were and was starting to almost have a serious panic attack because I needed to be out of the desert. Kendall joked and said that it looked like Paul Bunyon had dropped some of the Rockies on his way to lay them down. It's true though--I used to think my mountains were so magnificent and don't get me wrong, they still are, it's just strange being able to see where they start and stop on each side after the views from this summer.

I honked the horn when I finally got home and Scotty and Bekha came out to give me hugs and greet me. We brought everything from my car inside and it looked like an explosion had hit the living room. After getting a few pizzas, we headed to Ryan Carle's so I could surprise a bunch of people over there for a party who thought I wasn't getting home until tonight.

This morning, my fears were confirmed: I woke up and it all felt like a dream. I looked around my room and started to wonder if I had actually been in Colorado or not. I'm sure I was because of my pictures and I talked with Kristin and Scott earlier, but I'm just worried that everything will fade in my memory. I think that means I need to get started on my scrapbook so I can have it done before school starts!

In my exit interview at work, Barry asked me what I had learned this summer. I am going to need to think about that a little more and then will be getting close to not writing in this thing anymore. That will be just one more confirmation that the best summer of my life is coming to an end.

October Has Nothing Against the Rocky Mountain Sky

It's fitting that as I drove to work this morning raindrops were appearing on my windshield since the sky and I have become best friends. All summer long, the sky and I have been communicating on a level that surpasses any human explanation, starting with that very first car ride from Flagstaff with Aaron. After I dropped him off at the airport, the sunset in the distance over the park assured me from the beginning that this park was where I was meant to be:

Other instances throughout the summer showed me how accurate our communication seemed to be...

The looming thunderstorms which provided entertainment whenever we were sitting out of our porch or if people came over:

The rainbow over the mountain on the way to pick up my dad from the airport:

The whole trip with my dad actually was reflected with the blue skies when we spent the day together:

Rainbow over Twin Sisters the evening after we climbed it:

The lightning storm on one of our last nights together:

And even the sunset on our actual last night together:

The night after I dropped my sisters off at the airport, I was starting to feel a little homesick, but another amazing sunset guided me back to those peaks:

The weather was often able to help guide me on hikes, especially on our Long's Peak expedition, especially giving a generous sunset as a reward for making it through the storm:

Then there was the rainbow as soon as Kendall and I turned away from the hail and headed home on our first attempt backpacking together:

The night of the white cloud led was a sign that there will always be light in dark times, like when I was starting to have to think about leaving:

There were many rainbows throughout the summer, but the best was our last BBQ together with Conor and Scott. It started down on our driveway, and we could see the entire thing since the other end was just to the left of our house! That was the first rainbow that I was ever able to see from where it touched ground on one end to the other:

The sky didn't disappoint me last night either. That was our last night at the bowling alley, and where I was going to have to say goodbye to Scott for at least the summer--possibly for MUCH longer than that. Around one, we decided to drive to a field in the park to watch the meteor shower. Kristin, Liz, Scott, and I drove to the helicopter landing pad in Upper Beaver Meadows and laid down a few sleeping bags to watch the stars and meteors. We stayed for about an hour, and the natural fireworks in the sky completely matched my feelings when Scott leaned over and kissed me. (Too bad that didn't happen until his last night!) He and Liz (his neighbor from back home who was helping him drive home) had checked out of his apartment for the summer already so the two of them and Kristin were crashing at our place. When my alarm went off in the morning, Scott and I looked out to the most beautiful sunrise I had seen all summer. I couldn't think of a better way to be ending the summer.

It's Not Goodbye--It's See Ya Next Year

Today is definitely a tear day. I have been saying goodbye since last Friday when Hannah said goodbye, and since then I have also said goodbye to Conor, Alissa, Todd, and Aubrey among many others. Today was the hardest day so far though and the first one that brought me to tears, probably because Todd left.

Our big brother/little sister relationship kept the office laughing all summer long. We locked each other in the bathroom, taped toilet paper to the other's butt, pulled pranks with the help of visitors, completed the other end of phone conversations to distract the other, etc. He left half an hour ago and I was able to tuck a note into his lunchbox before that, thanking him for making me feel so comfortable and making my summer so fun.

Tonight is goodbye to Laura and Scott, and then that's about everyone who had played such a huge impact on my life this summer.

As I was sitting in the office crying, John pointed out that these really aren't goodbyes. Most of us are planning on coming back next summer, the next, and even the one after that. There's still that slight uncertainty/hope that that will actually be true, but my guess is that it will be for the most part. This summer has just been the first of a series of what will be some of the greatest adventures of my life.

I got to take part of the day today to drive with Neil to Longs Peak and Wild Basin Ranger Stations. I had been hoping to go see those stations all summer, and I was glad that I had Neil to drive with and spend a couple hours with. He showed me around the ropes for everything, but my favorite part was getting to talk with him about life.

He said a few things that really struck me, and the biggest one was that his impression of me is someone who "pushes herself" and doesn't take no for an answer, especially to myself. That really surprised me because that's what I've been working for all summer. He told me how impressed he was that I kept putting myself into different situations to test my limits, beginning with my very first hike day this summer when I hiked 16 miles right off the bat and didn't complain at all afterward. Another situation was my Longs Peak expedition, where I was in a situation that wasn't exactly favorable, but I dealt, learned, and moved on.

We talked a lot more on the ride home, and one other thing he mentioned was that his wife and I are very similar. We are both horn players and both have OCD tendencies. He told me a phrase that she used that finally got her point across to him: visually peaceful. I can't believe how much I relate to that phrase. I know I definitely have priorities in my life, but I need the things around me to be visually peaceful and stressfree before I can fully function. Now that I know this phrase, I am going to see if that will help me relate my feelings to those around me. I love that even in my last days I am still learning more and more.

Tonight brings two more "See ya next years:" Laura and Scott. Laura has been one of the people I connect with most this summer and it has been such a bummer that she's been so far away for most of the time. We are grabbing dinner and then that's it with her for the summer. At least it's for the summer and not forever. Next is our last bowling night, and I will say bye to Scott aka the summer crush. Having to say bye to everyone individually has been tough--seeing everyone leave one-by-one. I would almost rather just be the first one gone so I could do it all at once. The catch 22 of that would mean that I'm out of this fantastic place earlier, and that's a "see ya next year" that I am still not fully prepared for.

SUCCESS!!

Kendall and I finally made it backpacking in the park without any major glitches:

• We didn't lock the keys in the car
• We didn't find bones on the ground and freak out about bears and mountain lions
• We didn't run into any illegal bivy campers
• We didn't end up hiking at midnight
• We didn't get hailed on
• We didn't camp in the living room

I'd say that's a pretty good success! We headed out for the trailhead last night around 6:00pm and had camp set up and dinner cooked before dark. We then went on a short night hike and came back via headlamp to cook a chocolate-raspberry-crumble dessert and some lukewarm chocolate. Sitting on our kitchen-rock, Kendall smoked her pipe and I laid down to look at the stars. I saw three shooting stars while looking out. It's funny how sitting somewhere doing something as simple as looking at the sky can bring back happy memories.

When we headed into the tent, I taught Kendall how to play Monopoly Deal (my new favorite game!) and then we realized we had no alarm clock and I needed to be in work this morning by 10am. Finally, I found out that my old-school Ipod had an alarm even though there aren't speakers and set that. Sometime in the night, my Ipod died while I was listening to Mathis der Maler. Luckily, even with a dead battery my alarm went off and we woke up to a freezing 6:00am. The sun wasn't quite peeking up over the trees yet, and we sluggishly headed to our kitchen-rock to make a warm breakfast. We finally got camp packed up and headed down back to the car.

We stopped at the YMCA on the way home so Kendall could where our fishing guys work at Sasquatch. Paris and Andrew were in the parking lot so we pulled in to say hi. Paris saw us and exclaimed how wonderful it was to start the day off seeing two beautiful ladies. We just laughed and thought about how wonderful it is to start the day off hearing that, especially after a night in the backcountry.

Tonight is Ed's for dinner and drinks/trivia after work, then hopefully I will start packing. Well, I guess I started yesterday, but now I can pack all my backcountry gear since I won't be using that anymore this summer. That's a bittersweet thought, but I know I will be back next year, plus Kendall and I are making plans already to camp/hike/backpack in Flag.

Is it August already?

My days are drawing to a close and I haven't been writing (partly because I haven't had internet again) because I don't want to recognize that's true. I have been trying not to sleep lately because I don't want to miss out on anything in the last week+, but that backfired last night when I accidentally fell asleep at 6:30pm and woke up at 8:00am this morning. Maybe that will last me the rest of the week though!

Here has been the breakdown of the beginning of August:

Friday 31: Jess showed up after work!! We headed to Safeway where she was amazed by how many things I picked up in the produce section. Around 8, the guys and Kristin! showed up for a BBQ in the backyard before a storm hit and then we all headed to The Rock for the usual Friday night routine. Kendall spilled the beans on something, but we all had a great time hanging and dancing.

Saturday 1: Jess and I woke up and got cinnamon rolls in Glen Haven before heading partway up Trail Ridge Road. I was her personal tour guide and we saw some marmots! Some of the guys and Kristin came over for game night later on and we played JabberJot.

Sunday 2: We woke up and went for a walk down the street before I dropped her back off at Andrew's house in Longmont. After that stop, I drove through Fort Collins to get to I14 to see Laura up by the Poudre Pass. Alissa arrived half an hour after me (around 4:30pm) and we all caravaned back to her cabin. Four bull moose joined us for dinner (we ate elk!!) and we hung around playing Monopoly Deal until about midnight.


Monday 3: The three of us woke up for our hike day, uniformed up, and headed out on the ditch road. Laura and I hiked around 8 miles, and Alissa wasn't feeling well so she didn't get to do as much. We made another amazing dinner and played a few more rounds of Monopoly Deal before heading back to Estes for that 2-3 hour drive. Conor and Scott came over when I was in the shower and we watched the end of The Big Lebowski.

Tuesday 4: Ed's Cantina after laundry/work with Kendall, Conor, and Scott. It was trivia night and they did pretty well, regardless of the fact that they kept picking the same categories. (Conor=history, Scott=sports) Kendall drove my car home and I entertained her by dancing with my bread the rest of the night until I was ok to go to sleep.

Wednesday 5: BCO went to Casa Bonita!! There were 12 of us altogether, and my car watched the South Park episode on an Ipod in the car on the way to Denver. After dinner (you don't ever actually go for the food), we looked around at all the different amusements there and then settled into a game of hide and seek! Neil got thrown out in our last game for the following situation...

Characters: Neil (50 something), Aubrey (20), Manager
Scene: Casa Bonita near the main entrance, around some tables
What happened: Neil was hiding under and table, and Aubrey went to hide under the same one. After she saw he was there, she turned to find a different hiding spot before Todd finished counting, and Neil playfully grabbed her leg as she walked away. Enter manager. The manager only saw a 50-year-old guy grab the leg of a 20-year-old from under the table and threw him out without explanation. Neil texted Landon that he was waiting outside and we all cracked up when we saw him sulking by the fountain. Before heading back to Estes, our car headed towards downtown to see the capital building lit up with the full moon and awesome electric storm that was with us the whole way home.

Thursday 6: After work, Kendall and I headed to The Rock for a Thursday night to drink with the New Belgium Brewing Company! We got a few free beers from them and just had a chill night hanging with the Co. and Scott, Conor, Kristin, etc.

Friday 7: After work, I got my backpack and met Conor, Chris (Todd's friend), and Meaghan (Conor's friend with WAY too many letters in her name). :) We loaded into my car and were on the trail by 6:30pm, heading to the Thunder Lake Cabin. We made it and met Todd there a little after nine, but the moon was so full and bright that we never needed headlamps. I made a killer dinner--pesto pasta with summer sausage and sundried tomatoes--and then proceeded to kill everyone at Monopoly.

Saturday 8: We woke up after a cozy night in the loft and kicked it by the lake for a few hours fishing, reading, writing, and playing games. I talked with a bunch of visitors who came by, and one made my favorite comment of the summer so far: "If Walt Disney himself had drawn a picture of this place, no one would have believed him." We hiked out around 3pm and I was home before 6pm which gave me about an hour to get ready for the Chili Cookoff. The cookoff was a success and we had a little under 50 people to eat, drink, and play some pong! That was Conor's last night and it was sad to say goodbye because that's just another indicator that the summer is almost over.

Sunday 9: I woke up and headed to Longmont where I was meeting Alissa and "Ryan" (her husband) to go to the Rockies game! The Rockies killed the Cubs and we had lots of fun. When I got home, I crashed and didn't wake up until this morning.

Tonight, Kendall and I are going to try backpacking again and then it's down to the last few days here! I'm definitely making the most of my time and am counting on being back again next year.

Frankie's Words of Wisdom

Jessica had a conference in Greeley, CO last week and decided to extend her plane ticket so she could spend the weekend with me. I picked her up downtown after work on Friday and we headed straight to Safeway to gear up for the weekend. When we were there, we headed straight for the produce section and she started wondering aloud where her old roomy had gone and who this health nut was?!?! Throughout the weekend, she kept noticing other things that have changed about me and it's starting to make me apprehensive about the return to Flagstaff and school.

I have been noticing those kinds of things with myself as well. I set goals at the beginning of the summer--on the flight back from China actually--to improve my faith, relationships with people, and a few other focus areas. I can definitely see a change.

I've even strengthened my mental abilities and have been pushing and challenging myself all summer. I have been thinking a lot about FDR's first inaugural address when he said, "the only thing to fear is fear itself." Monday, Laura and I hiked off trail up to Lake of the Clouds, which included a class 3/class 4 climb UP a few boulderfields and grassy areas with a huge drop off down below us. We were talking (mainly on the way down when we weren't so out of breath) about how it's best to conquer your fears and not make excuses for yourself or even to yourself.


With me, falling has always been my biggest fear. Most people think it's a heights issue because that's an obvious place where falling would affect me. Truly, I have no problem with heights if there is a wide open area. The top of the Grand Canyon doesn't scare me to look down if there's a guard rail or even a tree I can hold on to so I can look down. It's the times when there are huge depths below me and there is nothing to stop me from dropping hundreds of feet.

I have been talking myself into going further than normal quite a bit this summer. Last year, there would have been no way to get me to climb up the side of this cliff without ropes or harnesses, but I had no real problems on Monday. It's funny how much your brain can tell you that something is possible--just a matter of mind over matter.