Today is definitely a tear day. I have been saying goodbye since last Friday when Hannah said goodbye, and since then I have also said goodbye to Conor, Alissa, Todd, and Aubrey among many others. Today was the hardest day so far though and the first one that brought me to tears, probably because Todd left.
Our big brother/little sister relationship kept the office laughing all summer long. We locked each other in the bathroom, taped toilet paper to the other's butt, pulled pranks with the help of visitors, completed the other end of phone conversations to distract the other, etc. He left half an hour ago and I was able to tuck a note into his lunchbox before that, thanking him for making me feel so comfortable and making my summer so fun.
Tonight is goodbye to Laura and Scott, and then that's about everyone who had played such a huge impact on my life this summer.
As I was sitting in the office crying, John pointed out that these really aren't goodbyes. Most of us are planning on coming back next summer, the next, and even the one after that. There's still that slight uncertainty/hope that that will actually be true, but my guess is that it will be for the most part. This summer has just been the first of a series of what will be some of the greatest adventures of my life.
I got to take part of the day today to drive with Neil to Longs Peak and Wild Basin Ranger Stations. I had been hoping to go see those stations all summer, and I was glad that I had Neil to drive with and spend a couple hours with. He showed me around the ropes for everything, but my favorite part was getting to talk with him about life.
He said a few things that really struck me, and the biggest one was that his impression of me is someone who "pushes herself" and doesn't take no for an answer, especially to myself. That really surprised me because that's what I've been working for all summer. He told me how impressed he was that I kept putting myself into different situations to test my limits, beginning with my very first hike day this summer when I hiked 16 miles right off the bat and didn't complain at all afterward. Another situation was my Longs Peak expedition, where I was in a situation that wasn't exactly favorable, but I dealt, learned, and moved on.
We talked a lot more on the ride home, and one other thing he mentioned was that his wife and I are very similar. We are both horn players and both have OCD tendencies. He told me a phrase that she used that finally got her point across to him: visually peaceful. I can't believe how much I relate to that phrase. I know I definitely have priorities in my life, but I need the things around me to be visually peaceful and stressfree before I can fully function. Now that I know this phrase, I am going to see if that will help me relate my feelings to those around me. I love that even in my last days I am still learning more and more.
Tonight brings two more "See ya next years:" Laura and Scott. Laura has been one of the people I connect with most this summer and it has been such a bummer that she's been so far away for most of the time. We are grabbing dinner and then that's it with her for the summer. At least it's for the summer and not forever. Next is our last bowling night, and I will say bye to Scott aka the summer crush. Having to say bye to everyone individually has been tough--seeing everyone leave one-by-one. I would almost rather just be the first one gone so I could do it all at once. The catch 22 of that would mean that I'm out of this fantastic place earlier, and that's a "see ya next year" that I am still not fully prepared for.
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