Last Day of Age 21

It's always nice to look back on the past year as another birthday approaches, and this year is no different. Every year I think I have grown more and more, and again this year is no different. Even in the past two months, I feel I have grown more and understand myself more now than ever before. All these moments of self reflection seem to be closer and closer together and I love getting to know myself and appreciate what I am finding.

In the past two months, I have learned to be completely independent and self-sufficient and am supporting myself entirely on my own for the first time in my life. I have learned to break out of my comfort levels and push myself to meet new people, drive along the edge of a road with a 12,000+ drop down both sides without getting scared. I have learned that it's ok to dance even if you don't know how, call people to hang out even if you are afraid of their rejection, and hike to get away from any stress levels that possibly rise. I have learned the importance of staying in touch with people back home and that even though I am 800+ miles from Flagstaff right now, part of me can still be there and here at the same time.

I also learned this year many important values about love and relationships. My birthday night last year ended with Eric taking care of me after my first legal night out in the bars. We were in love and had plans for our future and beyond. Since then, things have grown apart between us, I sort of started seeing someone else, and now I am perfectly content being single for the first time basically since the beginning of high school. I have realized this year that in order to know myself and know what it is that I want/need to complete that area of my life cannot be found until I truly know myself.

Last night, Aubrey and I went to Andree and Dave's house to meet the dog we are watching on two separate weekends coming up. Andree works in our office and is around seventy years old. She has been married at least twice, and had quite an interesting life of moving all around the country and experiencing different people. Watching the love between her and Dave just amazed me last night and reminded me of the love my grandparents share. They say how completely blessed they are to have found each other and for everything that happened during their lives to have happened and led them to each other.

I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, more so this year than ever before. I also am realizing that I can love myself completely right now and don't have to fill any "holes" just so I feel like I am a successful human being. I am realizing that in year 22, I am going to live each day in the present and not force things to happen or even look diligently for a miracle. Instead, I am going to rejoice in each day I am given and if something comes along my way, I will grab on for whatever ride that passing chance will lead me to before I miss the opportunity.